Ok, ok, ok...Just ONE More

Subtitle: The First 100 Miles

Several divergent thoughts came into my head as I was waxing eloquent about summer, but they didn't fit the flow of that writing.  So before I take a break from blogging in favor of preparing for school, I'll jot them down here.

As you can see, I purchased a motorcycle this summer.  I really didn't intend to.  I took a class in the late spring to get my license, and it was a blast.  I got my license in order to take an autumn trip to Maine, during which I would ride a motorcycle along the coast.  The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to ride here, now.  So When I found a good deal on a bike I really like I jumped at it.  It came slightly used, and in a short period of time I put one hundred miles on the bike.

I'm also thinking of a metaphorical "first one hundred miles."  I have been "on my own" now for just over a year.  Heather moved out last July, and although I earnest hoped to be reconciled, by the beginning of the new year it was obvious that was not going to happen.  After that realization set it, and after the pain of the events surrounding the separation began to lessen, it was a bit like emerging from a bomb shelter.  True, when I first picked my head up and looked around, the world seemed barren and charred.  But as my eyes adjusted to the new landscape, the lack of houses and trees and the discernible world that I knew, I saw opportunity.  I actually feel guilty saying this.  I feel like I should still be sad that I am divorced, but I am not.  I feel like I should lament the loss of a very real and very large dream for my life, but I have done that and I don't particularly want to go back.  Call it looking on the bright side, call it moving on, call it whatever you want....I'm living again.

This new life is a curious one.  I'm sad I don't always have my kids.  The house can be lonely at times.  But (I believe I've written about this before) there is a certain joy and liberty in not having to care if "she" likes my clothes, or my motorcycle, or my hair, or my beard.  There is greater flexibility to run off to a new, far away destination or hang out with friends when it is "her" week with the boys.  This summer with my sons, without relational drama or being in a one-sided marriage, has been one of the most enjoyable in recent memory.  And true, a lot of that has to do with another perk of not being married: a new relationship.  I understand that many will consider that I am moving too fast or I am in denial of what has happened, but I'm happy to be dating my wonderful friend Brandi and we have really enjoyed the summer together.  As my friend Michael would say, "It makes a big difference to go from having someone in your life who doesn't really like you that much to someone who really appreciates everything about you."  It is true, and for that I'm thankful.

So there it is.  The first one hundred miles has been a bit bumpy, but the road has emerged onto a coastal route with what looks to be a magnificent view.  Time to start a new school year and see where the road leads.