"But You'll Have to Be Dead."

I had a visit from a very dear friend this weekend.  It was unexpected, but very enjoyable.  There were many things about it that were unexpected, and the first centered on the nature of our relationship.  

Nathan was one of my students.  I recognized in him a young man uniquely gifted and called by God, capable of doing great things.  I approached him and asked if he had ever been discipled and wondered if he would be interested.  After meeting with his family we began a year of studying the Bible and praying together.  That year culminated in his graduation and a trip I took with him and his father to hike the mountains of Colorado.  

In my own life, I have a mentor that I have always admired.  Tony was my youth pastor and I interned under him for several years.  There was an unexpected moment, though, when I stopped being his pupil and started being his peer.  It was ceremonial or dramatic.  It just struck me, "Hey, I'm not a kid anymore.  I'm a youth pastor myself.  I have a son.  We're more like friends now."  

That same transition has happened with Nathan, just three short years after his graduation.  Many kids want to call me by my first name after they graduate, thinking it will somehow fluster me.  But Nathan has very easily assumed the right to call me Jay instead of Mr. Asp.  And while he may not be in exactly the same stage of life, he is bright and confident, pursuing a business he started.  It has become successful enough that he even talked about bringing me on staff as a graphic designer in the future.  Of course, we also talked about starting a website to sell my artwork (prompting him to joke that the venture would be more successful if I were dead first), taking another trip together and other dreams, but it was fun to dream together more as peers. 

Even more unexpected was the realization that I had become "someone's Tony."  With all that Tony has meant to me in my life, I'm honored that I would be among the first visits made when Nathan is home from college for the weekend.  It will be interesting to see what God has in store for this young man.  I, for one, am happy just to know him.  

"Y'all Don't Know What It's Like Being Male, Middle-class and White"

"In a haze these days
I pull up to the stoplight
I can feel that something's not right
I can feel someone's blasting me with hate and bass
sending dirty vibes my way
because my great, great, great, great granddad
made someone's great, great, great, great granddad his slave
It wasn't my idea"

I will confess this early on: having your wife leave you for a black guy can get into your head.  What compounds this situation is the fact that since her departure she has challenged me with that dreaded assault: "You are so racist."

I mention that only as background to my current state of mind.  I am involved in a quest to answer that question ("Am I really a racist?") and, further, to understand racism and notions of "white-ness" and "black-ness".  In the beginning the thoughts seemed to funnel into a series of paintings, but now I'm not so sure those paintings can or should be made.  My reading list has been comprised of "Black Like Me", "Uncle Tom's Cabin", "Who's Afraid of Post-Blackness?" and more.  My viewing hours have been consumed by "Bamboozled,"  "Ethnic Notions," "500 Years Later," "I Ain't From Africa" and others.  The loudest voices in my head come from Kara Walker, Kehinde Wiley, Spike Lee and Bill Cosby.

I'm not sure I would even bring this up right now, since the ideas are in germ stage and the research is significantly lacking (will it ever be finished or be conclusive?  I'm reminded of the line from "Good Will Hunting"--"Do you think I would have the slightest idea of what your life as an orphan is like because I read "Oliver Twist"?"), but the notion seems to be springing up around me everywhere.

Most recently, the hilarious Superbowl commercial by Volkswagen has been called racist.  As I listen to people (both informed and ignorant) discuss it, my main question is not one of race but of image.  When did we become too stupid to recognize synecdoche?  I really don't believe the VW people thought, "Let's put those Jamaicans in their place!"  That would have been racist.  I think they wanted a clear, concise, easily-grasped substitution of a part for the whole.  I imagine the creative meeting going like this:
"What's our concept?  What feeling do we want to imply that people will get from buying our product?"
"We want them to think they'll feel happy."
"How do you show 'happy'?  It's intangible."
"You could show the experience of the drive.  The twists, the turns, the exhilaration, the wind rushing through the hair."
"Overdone.  Plus, that seems more like a convertible.  What else do you have?"
"You could show a person who is really happy after having driven the car."
"How do you make him seem happy?  Who are the happiest people in the world?"
"Jamaicans!  Have you ever been there?  They live in paradise."
"That's true, they are pretty laid back.  So we get a Jamaican to act in the ad?"
"No!  You want to communicate that ANYBODY will feel as happy and relaxed as a Jamaican if they drive the car.  Let's get a white guy.  Let's make him a Minnesotan."

Should I take offense that the insinuation is that "my people" (Scandinavians/mid-westerners/Minnesotans) are generally unhappy?  How stupid would that be?  It's okay to be clever.  It's okay to expect people to connect the dots in their head and get a chuckle out of it.

It's easy to look at our world (especially as a white person) and think, "It's WAY better now than it used to be."  But there is still inequality.  And the issue of race/the accusation of racism is as ubiquitous as the sunshine on a Jamaican beach.